Powered by Blogger.

10 THINGS THAT HAPPEN WHEN YOU BECOME A PARENT

I don't often write posts on my experiences as a parent. I mean I share the odd picture of Harper on Instagram and may occasionally tweet about something hilarious she has done. Today I really wanted to write a post about the things that happen to you and everything you have ever known when you become a parent, because it is a HUGE change and you can never be prepared for the ups, the downs and the sideways that being a parent brings. Being a mummy is the biggest and most important part of my life so I thought I would share with you some insight into my experiences as a mama. 





#1 - YOU DON'T GET INVITED TO PARTIES ANYMORE.
When you become a parent, it's almost like you lose your identity to most people. The same people that used to invite you to their parties and to festivals, walk past you in the street without a second glance as soon as a little human has ejected the womb. The only parties I get invited to now are ones at 3:30am in Harper's room where she's jumping up and down shouting MUUUUUUMMY. Don't get me wrong when I became a parent I wasn't the same Rebekka, and I knew that some of my "friends" wouldn't adjust to the changes in my priorities. They loved the Rebekka who won jager train competitions and had dance off's in Mercy, and that's okay, we had fun and I have fond memories with those people. 

#2 - YOU BECOME COMPETITIVE, EVEN IF YOU DON'T WANT TO ADMIT IT
Okay, so let's be real, every parent is a litle competitive, some more than others that's for sure. I constantly see the same mother's on social media boasting that their child walked or did a wee in the potty at like 6 months old LOL. I have friends who are like "well my child is 14 days older than theirs and he's already walking, am I doing something wrong?" I mean I am a smug parent, Harper is already an over achiever for sure and I am smug even when it comes to my nephew, I am their biggest fans and there's nothing wrong with that. Parents are SO competitive and when I see the yummy mummy's of Facebook bragging every single day it makes me smile.



#3 - GUILT IS AN EVERYDAY EMOTION
This is probably one of the most negative side effects of having children. I feel CONSTANTLY guilty and I could honestly reel off a HUGE list of things I feel guilty for doing or not doing in Harper's 3 years of life. When I was suffering with PND that was the way I could describe how I was feeling to doctors and to my friends/family, it feels like constant gut churning guilt and dread. I even felt guilty for working, I would go to pick Harper up from my sister's and cry my eyes out every single day until after 2 months I eventually quit. That was over a year ago and I have almost fully recovered since then, I have my hard days and I have my really good days but ultimately I learnt that guilt is the most common emotion for any mother and I realised that all we can really do for our children is our best and hope that you can create happiness and safety for them.

#4 - YOU BECOME EMOTIONAL ABOUT THE MOST TRIVIAL THINGS
Hands up if you've cried over your child eating a plate of food or singing a nursery rhyme?! ME. 
I don't know what it is, but when you become a parent you become an emotional wreck. I know I am not the only person like this because my sister and my mummy friends are EXACTLY the same! 
I have to pull it together every single time I go to the preschool and see Harper playing and interacting with all of her little friends. I get so emotional every single time she's poorly, every time she tries a new food, every time she eats a whole plate of food and that's not even the half of it.
I don't know whether it's her age and seeing her little personality come through or whether I am just going to be like Kris Jenner and cry at everything my children do even when they're in their late 30s. 

#5 - BEING EMBARRASSED IN PUBLIC IS NORMALITY
I remember about 6 months ago during a food shop Harper started shouting FUCK at the top of her voice on a crowded aisle and I could've died, it was probably the most mortifying moment of my life. Everyone else found it hilarious as my attempts to stop her only increased the volume of her outburst. This sort of thing happens every time we leave the house, a few weeks ago we went for breakfast in the city and it was extremely quiet, Harper began to shout at Justin, who was at the bar at this point, "DADDY I NEED A POO, I NEED A POO QUIIIICK!" again, humiliating.
I used to think my darling toddler was the only foul mouthed creature doing these embarrassing things in public, turns out I am not alone, which is comforting.

#6 - YOU'RE UP ON A SUNDAY MORNING AT THE TIME YOU USED TO GET IN.
Way back when it was just me, myself and I, I would be often known to roll in at around 6am, crack of dawn time frames. Fast forward 4 years and I am usually up at 6am watching Paw Patrol with a black coffee in hand. I count myself particularly lucky, I have friends who get up at horrific times like 4am, there's a lot of things I will put up with but 4am is not one of them. Shout out to all the mamas out there whose kids get up at 4am, you're a better woman than I am.

#7 - SLEEPING MORE THAN 4 HOURS WITHOUT DISRUPTION IS A LUXURY
Me and Justin are complete opposites, I can barely function without 8 hours and a 2 hour cat nap during the day whereas Justin can have around 4-6 hours and cope. This is the one thing I really struggled with as a new parent, I am a sleepaholic, it's my favourite thing to do and yeah before Harper became part of the household I was getting more than 10 hours a night that's for sure. I now treasure nights that I get more than 4 hours without the dread "MUUUUUMMY!" siren coming from the next room. Also, you would assume giving in and allowing them to finally come into your bed would result in a peaceful sleep, OH NO. Unless you can sleep through a kick in the nose and sleeping so close to the floor you're practically holding half your body up off the bed, then you will know what it's like to be constantly sleep deprived.


#8 - YOU PRETEND YOUR KIDS EAT ALL THE FRUIT AND VEG WHEN IN REALITY THEY EAT ALL THE CHICKEN NUGGETS.& HARIBO!
I like to pretend that Harper is an adventurous eater to strangers but everyone who knows her, knows that she is the fussiest eater in the world. I never even considered that this kind of attitude towards food was possible, especially being a genetic make up of me and Justin combined when we're both absolute foodies. Harper loves chicken nuggets and kinder eggs and that is it. I have tried every single thing you could think possible to get her to eat good food or just anything that isn't a chicken nugget and failing so hard. It's a situation I know that I am not alone in at all, I know lots and lots of mums with the same issues as we have with Harper and I know it will get better, it has to. 

#9 - KIDS TELEVISION IS AS ADDICTIVE AS CRACK COCAINE.
Paw Patrol and Peppa Pig are like a pair of pushy drug dealers, filling my television with addictive 3 hour long back to back marathons and filling the shops with their overpriced merchandise that my mental toddler goes crazy for every single time she passes it. Don't get me wrong, I get it, there's only so long that you can go on with the theme tune blaring out of the television and catch yourself singing a long and knowing the name of every single character, you're only human! Another thing Harper is OBSESSED with is YouTube on the iPad, watching what I imagine to be the equivalent of watching paint dry, people opening surprise eggs. Her favourite at the moment is Ryan's Toy Review and if you're a parent of a child who watches YouTube you will know that Ryan kid almost as well as you know your own.

#10 - UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
In Harper's short lifetime she has managed to give me a black eye, had a poo on my lap and all down my legs at least three times, peed on me more times than I can remember, been sick in my hair and kicked me in the face a million more times than I can count. How can this little monster still be the absolute love of my life?! That is the beauty of unconditional love. The minute this little bundle of joy was placed into my arms I loved her more than anything without even having to think about it. My sister told me that when my nephew was born she just stared at him for days and didn't sleep, having a child will destroy every single emotion you have ever had in your body and build new ones from the moment you set eyes on your beautiful baby. It's the most crazy, scary, amazing, emotional, exciting, difficult, complicated, rewarding and fulfilling journey you could ever experience in your whole lifetime and it's the best thing that could ever happen to you as a human being in my opinion. 
Nobody said it was easy, but I promise you, you will never ever regret it or imagine your life without your child for the rest of your life, ahhh unconditional love.




I hope you have enjoyed this extremely personal post, like I said before, I don't really talk about Harper or my opinions on parenting and experiences, but I want to make this more of a regular thing in my posts because she really is my greatest achievement and everything she does is the next proudest moment of my life, if you enjoyed this post and want to see more of this type of post on my blog, let me know in the comments below!  

You can read my other similar parenting post here - 13 THINGS ONLY PEOPLE WITH KIDS UNDERSTAND

No comments