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5 WAYS TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART

If you haven't ever suffered from a broken heart, you're the lucky ones. I had my heart broken when I was about 17 years old and it was more painful than childbirth, at least the pain of childbirth is inevitably over in 24 hours. 
Having my heart broken felt like I was being kicked in the stomach repeatedly every day for about a year, every month that passed the kicks became weaker, but even now 8 years later, when I see or hear their name it makes me feel physically sick, it has scarred me for life. 
I spent the first 3 months just crying and listening to songs that could relate to my pain and although the lows are the lowest, the positives of having your heart broken can outweigh the bad as time passes.

Here are my five ways to heal a broken heart & how I used them in my own experience...





#1 MAKE A CHANGE OR STEP OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE

After spending a week straight in bed crying like a baby, I went through that phase of 'show him what he's missing'. I don't believe in making changes for other people unless it's constructive to your relationship. However with this mentality of wanting to prove them wrong, I became the best version of myself and I really loved the way I felt after I changed my hair colour and bought some new clothes, thanks to the heartbreak. When I look back on the moments when I so desperately wanted to make him see what he was missing with me, they were some of the best times of my life, because I laughed harder and I felt like I was a fresher, shinier version of myself. 
The other way you can heal your broken heart is stepping out of your comfort zone, after I had my heart broken I went through a time when I didn't really know what I was doing, I was sleeping with men who made me feel like shit about myself, and really not enjoying the way my career was going. All of this behaviour and emotion was caused by the lack of self worth I had for myself after I had my heart broken, I didn't give myself the credit I deserved and felt like nobody will love me ever again so I might as well just run around being a mess, because that's the way people saw me now. 
Until, 18 months later I decided to stop pretending that this was the lifestyle I wanted so I applied to work in Somerset and I got the job, it changed my entire life, and I ended up falling in love with my, now, fiance. 

#2 FILL UP YOUR SOCIAL CALENDAR 

I was just 18 years old, I was so young and one of the most important aspect to healing my heart was having my friends around me. I have some of the best friends and they all know every single truth in what I was put through even if the rest of the world didn't. They literally picked me up on every single dark moment that I experienced and I will never forget how much they helped me. They would make sure I was busy all the time, they sheltered me from the pain and they would be firm with me when I needed to be told. What was one of the worst experiences of my life they made a million times easier than it could've been and I will never forget what they did for me, so if you're reading this Amy, Nicolle, Becky, Sophie, Kerry or Fiona, I will love you all forever.
Surround yourself with the ones who love you unconditionally, because that initial feeling of complete rejection will be made easier to fade with the ones who love and respect you most around.

#3 RIDE OUT THE WAVES OF EMOTIONS

There are many stages we all go through when we've had our heartbroken, and it's okay not to be okay. I literally cried and slept for about 5 days straight, I remember putting a black sheet over my curtain rails and being in complete darkness for days just laying in bed in silence. When I look back on that moment, I want hug myself tight and show me everything that I have now. I then went on to being resentful, hateful and so angry, I think it wasn't until I got a job in the city that it actually became easier. You will feel every single emotion in the world, and you will get through it, you will laugh again, you will love again and you will be happy. 

#4 LEARN LESSONS

As a naive 17/18 year old and this being the first time I had ever been with anybody in my life, he was quite a few years older and had experienced relationships before. I didn't have a clue what I was getting myself into and I definitely ran away with my heart and only using my head when the whole thing became a total car crash and that's how it felt, a very sudden, painful, unexpected car crash. 
Despite all the crying and heartache, the lessons I learnt from that experience made me grow up a lot faster than I probably should have. I learned, that I am deserved of being loved, and that love doesn't have to hurt or be all over the place for it to be exciting...

#5 KNOW YOUR WORTH

Something I realised later rather than sooner, that I am worth a lot more than I gave myself credit for. I allowed myself to be treated badly after the heartbreak because that was the standard set by the person, at the time, I loved. Now, in my relationship, not only does he treat me like I am worth my weight in gold. I now have allowed myself to love someone who deserves to be with me and someone who is so deserving of everything we have together. Despite everything I went through it was worth every second if it meant that it put me in the time and the space where I found Justin. I am a strong believer in fate and that everything happens for a reason, and for that reason, I am thankful for everything.



I hope you have found this post useful or at least an interesting insight to something so personal that happened to me. We are all human, we all have different experiences in relationships, love and heartbreak, time has honestly been my biggest healer and I can honestly say no matter what you're going through right now, it will get easier as long as you take care of yourself and remember your worth.



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